The Layers We Collect
In this lifetime, as we grow up, we seem to simultaneously create who we are, and lose who we are. As adults, we can often feel like we are lost somewhere inside mud that’s caked up on us – like we’ve rolled down a muddy hill and have been gathering all the things we’ve been rolled in along the way. Things we never wanted, heavy things, other people’s things, and lots and lots of conditioning – conditioning to act like a lady, conditioning to act like a man, conditioning to look perfect, conditioning that failure is a bad thing, conditioning to keep up with the Joneses, etc.
Or maybe it feels more like you’ve been trapped inside a cage you accidentally co-created with society, your family, your friends, your colleagues. And, even though the door may be wide open for you to step back out into your freedom, maybe you have grown so familiar with your cage and how you exist in this cage (and everyone else has gotten used to you this way too), that the stepping out and into the truth, wholeness, and greatness of who you are feels tremendously uncomfortable.
So ironic, isn’t it?
The World Suffers When We Stay Small
So, we find ourselves in these states as adults, desperate to be free, but we are scared to become free. Or we don’t know how to even begin to claim that freedom. Or we feel too much of ourselves buried in the mud or we feel too trapped in our cages. But, whichever metaphor works better for your experience, what I notice to be true is that we are not the only ones who suffer from these trapped conditions. I notice that the whole world suffers from our trapped conditions. I notice that when we hold ourselves back and stay dis-membered instead of re-membered – fragmented instead of reintegrated – the gifts that were planted in us to share with the world – and help this world function with love, beauty, and effectiveness – are held back.
The Dream That Changed My Perspective
I had a dream not long ago about a Christmas present-opening scene and the gifts for me were sitting wrapped nicely in paper with bows in a chair next to me. I knew they were there, but I was resistant to opening them. There was a stubborn energy to my dreamself. I was watching others open and celebrate – and I was even feeling a little frustrated that they were doing it with such jovial abandon. And then it was brought to my attention that if I didn’t open my gifts at all then I couldn’t give the giver the satisfaction of giving. I would never be able to thank the one who gave me those gifts.
“Even though my life is dedicated to finding these gifts, opening them, coming to know them, and sharing them, apparently, I am still having to be shown that there are more—that there is more receiving for me to do.”
I have taken that dream with me as a reminder that there were gifts given to me that I have yet to open…and enjoy…and share! Even though my life is dedicated to finding these gifts, opening them, coming to know them, and sharing them, apparently, I am still having to be shown that there are more and that there is more receiving for me to do. More remembering for me to do. More thanks for me to give to the giver of these gifts.
I think a lot of us do this. We know there are gifts planted inside us, but we don’t get told this, or shown this, or encouraged to discover this, or cheerleaded as we move in the direction of this self-exploration and self-unwrapping. So here we are adults not only having to go through the opening process, but also having to meet up against the discomfort of contradicting all this conditioning that we have collected along the way. Even if we can intellectually know that these limitations are harming us and those around us, every cell in our bodies have been saturated in the residue of these belief systems.
The Path to Reclaiming Ourselves
This is why I have created this 5-week self-acceptance workshop and why we will have embodiments during this reintegration process. We need more than discussion when it comes to healing. Our brains are beautiful organisms, but we really do need to bypass that main operating system to get deeper into the soul level for this kind of reclamation.
Even though it can be devastating to realize we are mired in mud, or trapped in a cage, or have not opened our gifts yet, there’s good news. We all already have the whittle to be able to find the sculpture of who we are under the mud and we have the key to get out of our cages and we have the curiosity needed to unwrap our gifts. We have all this right now. It’s not a “when I have x, or have accomplished y, or look like z” proposition. We do not have to wait for when we have the right lover, or the perfect look, or the best job, or the ideal weight, or the optimal financial status, or enough friends, etc. in order to be granted our freedom.
Your Invitation to Begin: The 5-Week Self Acceptance
All we need is interest, dedication, and faith in our own selves in coordination with life/God/the universe/the Great Tao. We need only to take the first step on this path of self-discovery and then we get to continue to choose to keep walking that path with ourselves and with Life. Just like any commitment, we recommit to finding ourselves every single day.
Come begin the process with my by participating in my 5-week self-acceptance workshop starting Tuesday, April 1, 2025. Call 713-526-4444 to learn more or the link to join is here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/self-acceptance-workshop-all-genders-welcome-tickets-1270762909069 I hope to see you there.