Trauma – There’s Not Just One Kind
The word “trauma” has become a pop culture buzzword, leading to both greater awareness and some confusion. While the frequent use of the term has helped bring attention to a pervasive issue, it has also led to misunderstandings about what trauma truly is and how it can be addressed. In this article, we’ll focus specifically on ways to heal from complex trauma, though the information provided can be beneficial for those coping with all types of trauma.
What is Complex Trauma?
Complex trauma refers to the lasting psychological impact caused by prolonged or repeated exposure to traumatic events, often beginning in childhood. Unlike acute trauma, which arises from a single, isolated event like an accident or natural disaster, complex trauma stems from ongoing stress or abuse, such as neglect, domestic violence, or chronic emotional or physical abuse.[1]
Typically, complex trauma is interpersonal—it happens with caregivers or adults who are supposed to be sources of safety and trust. While it shares common symptoms with PTSD (like flashbacks, memory challenges, insomnia, hypervigilance etc), complex trauma can go even deeper, impacting one’s sense of self (e.g., persistent feelings of worthlessness), relationships (e.g., challenges with intimacy, trust, often resulting in avoidant attachment patterns), and overall well-being (e.g., regulating emotions through numbing out, dissociation, or substance misuse). These symptoms can be more pervasive, long-lasting, and difficult to navigate than those of acute trauma, deeply affecting daily functioning.[2]
Safety First
Establishing physical and emotional safety is an important first step in all trauma work. Trauma expert Judith Herman outlines three stages of recovery: Safety, Remembrance and Mourning, and Reconnection. The first stage—safety—is foundational to all other stages. A common misconception is that healing from trauma primarily involves a cathartic retelling of painful experiences. While processing and reprocessing traumatic memories can be an important part of the long-term healing process, the most critical first step is feeling safe—externally and internally. Sometimes establishing safety comes at a cost, often requiring individuals to leave abusive relationships or communities even if those spaces are familiar or longstanding. During this time, seeking support from trusted relationships and community resources is essential to help foster a sense of security and connection.[3]
6 Specific Coping Strategies for Complex Trauma
(Spoiler: it’s all about grounding & returning to the present moment)
As survivors begin their healing journeys, specific coping strategies to manage dissociation, intrusive memories, and heightened emotions are crucial for creating an internal sense of safety. Grounding exercises can help you return to the present moment and regain control over your emotional responses. There are a plethora of skills to choose from, so finding the ones that work for you is most important.
Here are a few examples to get you started:
- 5 Senses Exercise (name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can smell, 2 things you can touch, and 1 thing you can taste; it can be helpful to do this several times in a row).
- Mindful walking (actively participate in the walk by noticing things you can see, smell, hear, etc. Pay special attention to how your feet feel in your shoes, walking on the ground. Listen to the birds singing and the wind rustling the leaves.)
- Paced breathing (to calm the nervous system i.e. breathe in-2-3-4 and out-2-3-4-5-6, nice and slow with a gentle pause between the inhale and the exhale)
- Progressive muscle relaxation (you can find our instructional video on youtube to walk you through this, but the idea is to tense up various muscles at a time, hold them for 10 seconds or so, then gently release. You want to focus all of your attention on each muscle group as you go from head to toe). (stephanie will record this for our youtube channel so we can refer to our own resource here)
- Splash cold water on your face
- Turn on a favorite playlist and dance (dancing can be a very helpful avenue for getting back into your body)
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Mentalizing in Trauma Recovery
Another key aspect of trauma recovery and establishing safety is the ability to mentalize. Mentalization is the process of understanding and interpreting both your own thoughts and feelings, as well as those of others. While this might seem intuitive, individuals who have experienced complex trauma often struggle to develop this skill early in life, leading to distortions in how they perceive themselves and others. A helpful way to practice mentalizing is by adopting a “mentalizing stance,” which involves cultivating curiosity, flexibility, open-mindedness, and a non-judgmental attitude—especially during moments of heightened emotional intensity. Though it can be challenging, this practice is valuable in helping you distinguish between your own emotions and others’ behaviors, which can prevent common pitfalls like projections or misinterpretations—issues many complex trauma survivors face.[4]
Healing & Recovery from Complex Trauma Through Relationships
Perhaps the most important piece of healing from complex trauma is finding and staying in safe relationships. Though we are often hurt the most in the context of relationships, we are also healed the most in the context of safe relationships. Building connections with people who are empathic, understanding, and non-judgmental can offer the validation and comfort necessary for recovery. This could involve developing a support network of friends, family members, community organizations, or joining a support group which prioritizes emotional safety, respect, boundaries, and encourages healing. Over time, these safe relationships become models of healthy attachment, helping you rebuild trust and develop meaningful connections. [5] (we will link the phrase “support group” in this paragraph to the class listing)
Finding a therapist who specializes in complex trauma is also an extremely important way to work through interpersonal challenges and learn the capacity to trust. Longer term therapies that focus on attachment and the therapeutic relationship as a vehicle for healing are useful factors to look for. Therapy might also be a great source for expanding emotion regulation skills, practicing mentalization, and strengthening your sense of self.
Please reach out to us if you are interested in or are considering working with a therapist one on one. We’ve got you. Click to call us: 713-526-4444.
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Healing from Complex Trauma Is Possible!
We want you to know that survivors of complex trauma can move forward on their journey toward recovery by taking small, intentional steps towards practicing effective coping strategies, cultivating mentalizing skills, and fostering (as well as prioritizing) healthy relationships.
As you can imagine, moving through the effects of complex trauma can feel overwhelming. So, whether you are the person who is experiencing these effects yourself, or you love, care for, or live with someone who does, you might benefit from attending our 6-week class on trauma starting March 19, 2025 (link to event registration needs to be added once we have that).
Additionally, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us if you are interested in 1:1 therapeutic care or are interested in joining a supportive group to work on building trauma resilience.
[1] https://www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/trauma-types/complex-trauma
https://www.beautyafterbruises.org/what-is-cptsd
[4] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLT7ieO3hTk
Coping with trauma : hope through understanding (Book) ; Author. Allen, Jon G. ; Published. Washington, DC : American Psychiatric Pub., [2005]. ; Edition. 2nd ed.